Re: Let's all grow up!

[finley@asahi-u.ac.jp (Professor Marion R.Finley)]

Dear Shari, Tito et al:

	I think we should be very careful to distinguish between
the expression of a person's opinion and the person her or himself.
The opinion is one thing, the person another. There is nothing wrong
with disagreements over opinion. In fact, with the right spirit, 
such disagreements can lead to better insight and understanding.
This is something like what happens in creative brainstorming as a
problem-solving technique.

	A democratic forum such as this one permits any member to
express his or her opinion. However, healthy democracy imposes a
very tough self-discipline, if you think of it: one must be very
careful to address the issues, keep one's comments as pertinent as 
possible, and avoid personal conflict.

	Certainly then Shari has the right to express her opinions and
other members of this forum the right to agree or disagree with her. 
But to go one step further and attack the person is another story. We
should, I think, basically treat each other with respect and, if you
will forgive me the word, affection. Every single one of us has the test
and trials of daily life to contend with and I suspect that none of us
need any additional such tests because of this forum. There is enough
just outside our doors to cut us down that we surely need no more among
ourselves here. Even in disagreement, we can try to be respectful and
encouraging to each other.

	Do you all remember the story about the Buddhist monk and his
acolyte who were out strolling one day? They came to a river they had to
ford and encountered there a pretty woman who also had to cross the
river. The elderly monk ferried her over on his back. The young acolyte
was shocked at this: touching, picking up a woman ... against his
concepts of pure behaviour. Afer depositing the woman safely on the
other side, they continued their stroll, but the young man said nothing,
all the while asking himself why his mentor had behaved in such an 
improper way. Finally, he could stand it no more and blurted out: "Master, 
why did you touch that woman back there at the river?" The elderly monk 
replied to the effect: "I let go of her (deposited her on the opposite 
bank) long time ago. Why are you still holding on to her?"

	So perhaps now we can drop this disagreement and turn our
attention to other matters. For example, no-one has yet to respond to
my query of last night about the basic principles of sumo and I am
looking forward to some answer from some of you out there.

			With best regards to you all,
		
				Marion
				finley@asahi-u.ac.jp